Reading The Lightning Thief
by Goddess of Jasper
Summary: Jason, Piper, Leo, Nico, Thalia, Annabeth and Percy are sent into the past to read TLT with the Gods. HUmor ensues. Co-authored with Kayla Lex's Sister! Percy is from the end of SoN and everyone else is from the end of TLH!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey, it is alejandrita0202 here. **

_Kayla Lex's Sister here. _

**A0202: We have decided to write a Reading the lightning thief story together. **

_KL'SS: I wrote this particular chapter!_

**A0202: We hope you enjoy**

**Disclaimer: We do not own PJO or HOO!**

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They were all seated in the dining pavilion, eating their breakfast, Piper was talking her sisters trying not to let the boredom show, Jason and Thalia were debating whether lightening or flying was the best trait to have for a child of a sky god, Leo was looking at the blueprints for the ship that he was going to start constructing after breakfast was over, Annabeth was looking around, feeling sad and lonely, but she felt a spark of hope inside of her. That spark of hope was because they had figured out that Jason was on one side of an exchange program, and Percy was on the other. Leo was building the boat that was going to take them to Jason's camp.

Annabeth put her head in her hands; she'd had _way_ too many sleepless nights, designing the Argo with Leo. Just when she was about to pass out completely there was a flash of light and she felt like she was being sucked into a vacuum cleaner. When she felt normal again, she opened her eyes, and found herself standing in the Olympian throne room.  
Automatically she bowed, "Who are you, and what are you doing in my throne room?" a familiar voice boomed.

She turned to see Zeus looking startled, along with every one of the gods, she wasn't alone either; Jason, Piper, Leo, Nico, and Thalia were there as well. Just then there was another flash of light and a person with black hair and green eyes stood before them.  
"P-P-P-Percy?" Annabeth asked quietly.

In California:  
Percy had his arms wrapped around Hazel and Frank, walking toward the ship, where Annabeth was going to be… he was going to see her, for the first time in eight months, he was going to see Annabeth! The ship stopped in midair and a rope ladder came tumbling down after about five minutes, the first one down was a blonde boy, then a pretty girl, then a brown haired boy, then he saw blonde princess curls… it was Annabeth! Just when he was about to call up to her, a bright light flashed and he was in a completely different place.

"P-P-P-Percy?" A voice said softly.  
He turned around and saw Annabeth standing there, in the flesh. He completely forgot where he was, he didn't care, he ran over to Annabeth, and lifted her off the ground and turned around in circles. One of the gods cleared their throats; Percy sat Annabeth down and looked around… he was in the Olympian throne room. He bowed.

"Alright, do you mind letting us in on what you are doing here!" Zeus demanded.  
Annabeth was clinging onto Percy's hand, he was about to speak, but Thalia beat him to it, "We have no idea, there was this flash of light, and when I could see again, I was here."  
The Olympians frowned, and looked at each other. "State your names," Zeus ordered.

Thalia spoke up, "Thalia Grace… daughter of Zeus." All the Olympians turned and glared at Zeus  
"Piper Mclean, daughter of Aphrodite." Aphrodite smiled.  
"Jason Grace, son of Jupiter." At that all of them gasped.

"Why is a Roman here?" Athena demanded.  
"Your child, no less," Poseidon said.  
"Long story," Annabeth said.  
"Continue," Zeus said.

"Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena."  
"Leo Valdez, son of Hephaestus."  
"Nico Di Angelo, son of Hades." The gods started grumbling again.  
"Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon." Again the Olympians grumbled and glared at Poseidon.  
"Wait," Athena said, my daughter is not that old yet… Annabeth is only a little girl."  
"What year is it?" Annabeth asked.  
"2002," Athena said.  
"Mom… we're from 2012."  
Just then a flash of light and a book fell down, with a sheet of paper. Annabeth picked it up and read it aloud.

_Dear Olympians and demigods,  
you are to read this book) __**Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief, **__it is our hope that you will learn from the mistakes that you made in this book, and the course of events that happened will no longer be your future. Hades shall join you.  
The Fates _

Annabeth picked up the book; it had a picture of a boy on the front with a sword in his hand, stepping into the water.  
Another flash of light and Hades was standing in the middle of the throne room along with the Demigods. "What the…."  
"Here, Lord," Annabeth handed him the paper. He read what it said and frowned.  
Zeus snapped his fingers and Hades' temporary throne and seven chairs flashed into the room, "Sit," Zeus sighed, "we might as well get this over with, who wants to go first?"  
"I will," Athena called.

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**A0202: Here is the first chapter, We'll have the other up soon!**

_KL'SS: Review because we love them!_

_**Both: Sayonara**_!


	2. Chapter 2

**We don't own anything that has to do with PJO or HoO! Thought I would put**** that out there! :)**

**I Accidentally Vaporize my Pre-Algebra Teacher**

"Well," Nico ventured, "that sounds promising… Percy I had no idea that you were so violent."

Percy rolled his eyes, and said, "She was asking for it."

Nico opened his mouth to respond, but Piper cut him off, "Why don't we find out what happens!" She looked pointedly at Athena, who took the hint and started to read.

**Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood.**

All the demigods nodded their heads sadly, but Leo said, "Well if we weren't demigods, then we never would have met each other." They all nodded again.

**If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now. Believe what-ever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life.**

"I can't believe it," Thalia exclaimed suddenly, "Percy gave good advice!"

**Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.**

**If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.**

"I wish I could do that," Jason muttered.

**But if you recognize yourself in these pages—if you feel something stirring inside—stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you.**

**Don't say I didn't warn you.**

"Well," Leo said, "that sounds seriously spooky, why would you say that now! They have no idea what you're talking about, you're just going to make them more nervous."

**My name is Percy Jackson.**

**I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.**

**Am I a troubled kid?**

"YES!" everyone that knew Percy yelled.

"Sheesh," Percy said pretending to be offended, "you don't have to be so hurtful!"

**Yeah. You could say that.**

"Well," Demeter said from her throne, "you can't be to hurt… you agree with them."

**I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan— twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.**

"Stuff," Athena said, eyeing Percy with a raised eyebrow, "you call three thousand year old pottery, weapons, and literature '_stuff?'_

"That's Percy," Annabeth said, laughing slightly.

**I know—it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were.**

"It does sound like torture," Leo agreed.

**But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.**

**Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.**

"Hmm," Zeus said, "that sounds like Chiron."

**I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.**

**Boy, was I wrong.**

"Like that's anything new, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth snorted.

**See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway. **

Leo looked a Percy with a renewed interest, "Dude that is AWESOME!"

**And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim.**

Ares looked down at him smiling, "Well, punk, you might not be so bad, you attract a lot of trouble."

"You say that now," Percy said.

"What do you mean by that," Poseidon asked.

"Just read," Thalia sighed, "it should tell you everything that you need to know.

**And the time before that... Well, you get the idea.**

**This trip, I was determined to be good.**

"Be good?" Hermes questioned, "what's the fun in that?"

**All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.**

Piper crinkled her nose in distaste, "Who eats a peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich?"

**Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.**

"Talk about an epic fail," Thalia muttered under her breath.

**Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.**

"Your headmaster must suck," Apollo said to Percy, who nodded earnestly in agreement.

**"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.**

"Please do," Jason muttered.

**Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."**

**He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.**

**"That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.**

"Good man," Artemis said, sounding impressed, "you care about your friends."

**"You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."**

**Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.**

"Yeah, really," Percy muttered to himself.

**Mr. Brunner led the museum tour.**

**He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.**

**It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.**

"Once again," Athena said, shaking her head and looking up from the book, "you call it _stuff_?"

**He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides.**

**I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye.**

"Percy tried to listen?" Nico asked

Percy shrugged, "I can pay attention!" Everyone in the room shot him a look, including the ones that barely knew him. "Sometimes," he relented.

**Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker.**

"Well," Leo ventured, "she sounds like a ray of sunshine."

**She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.**

**From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn.**

Annabeth shrugged and said playfully, "I can see your reasoning."

**She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.**

"Old hag," Aphrodite muttered, "Percy seems so sweet, why would anyone want to do that to him?"

Percy blushed at the compliment.

**One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right."**

"I think I should have a talk with this satyr," Dionysus said, startling everyone, he'd been so quiet, "that is not a way to keep a half-blood safe."

"Mr. D," Percy said through his shock, "you care?"

"What makes you think I care, Jameson?" Mr. D snapped,

**Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.**

**Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?"**

"Thank you!" Jason exclaimed.

**It came out louder than I meant it to.**

**The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story.**

**"Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"**

**My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir."**

"Smooth, Percy," Thalia snickered, "real smooth."

**Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"**

"This should be good," Annabeth laughed.

**I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"**

**"Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because ..."**

**"Well..." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and—"**

"The king GOD," Zeus protested, glaring down at Percy.

Athena quickly started reading, trying to prevent an argument from happening.

**"God?" Mr. Brunner asked.**

**"Titan," I corrected myself. "And ... he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters—"**

**"Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me.**

"Yeah," Piper agreed, "you really did implant a disgusting image in my head."

Leo smirked at her, "I'm sure Jason could erase that for you real quick."

Both piper and Jason lit up cherry red and Aphrodite squealed.

**"—and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."**

"You really do have a talent for making important events or artifacts seem unimportant everyday things," Hera remarked.

**Some snickers from the group.**

**Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"**

"Depends on where you want to work," Jason said.

**"And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"**

**"Busted," Grover muttered.**

"Huh," Thalia said, "who knew Grove could be so spiteful… I feel so proud."

Everyone in the throne room looked at her like she needed mental attention, and she just shrugged.

**"Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.**

**At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.**

**I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."**

**"I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"**

"Wait," Athena interrupted herself, "you didn't freak out over half credit?"

"Honestly, Lady Athena," Thalia laughed, "Percy was probably inwardly partying about having that much."

**The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doo-fuses.**

"Now that's shocking," Artemis muttered sarcastically.

**Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson."**

**I knew that was coming.**

**I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?"**

**Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go— intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.**

"You know that he's older than that, right?" Annabeth asked Percy.

"I do now," he replied.

**"You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me.**

**"About the Titans?"**

"Yes," Leo muttered sarcastically, "because knowing about those suckers is really important to your life."

"You have no idea," Percy answered, ignoring the obvious sarcasm.

**"About real life. And how your studies apply to it."**

**"Oh."**

**"What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."**

**I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.**

"If he didn't," Annabeth muttered, "you wouldn't be here, Seaweed Brain."

"I know that now," Percy agreed

**I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman per-son who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped. But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C— in my life. No—he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.**

**I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.**

"He probably was," Hades said.

**He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.**

**The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.**

"Yes," Athena sighed, "because traffic is the most exciting thing to watch with a museum."

Poseidon looked at her, shocked, "was that a joke? There might be hope for you yet."

**Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.**

"Well," Apollo said to Zeus and Poseidon, "what has you two so angry?"

**Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.**

"Talk about favoritism," Thalia muttered.

**Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school—the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.**

"The loser thing comes naturally, Perce," Thalia informed him.

**"Detention?" Grover asked.**

**"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean—I'm not a genius."**

**Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"**

"Deep," Grover," Hermes muttered, "real deep."

**I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.**

**I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.**

Hera and Artemis looked down at Percy approvingly.

**Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table.**

"Now that sounds cool!" Leo exclaimed.

"Why would that be cool?" Piper asked curiously.

"Simple if I had a motorized café table, I would be set for life… I might start making them and sell them. You and Jason are my friends, so I'll make yours for free… I'm pretty sure that I could make a couple's one." Leo said raising his eyebrows, and smirking.

Of course that mad Jason and Piper both light up again, redder than the last time.

"Why do we talk to him?" Jason asked Piper.

**I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends—I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists—and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.**

**"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.**

"Well," Aphrodite said, as if trying not to cringe, "she sounds… charming."

"Did you curse her?" Hephaestus asked his wife.

"I don't think so."

**I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.**

"Remind me never to piss you off," Leo said to Percy.

Percy just grinned back in response.

**I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"**

"That little witch was asking for it!" Jason exclaimed.

**Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.**

**Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see—"**

**"—the water—"**

**"—like it grabbed her—"**

**I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.**

"You stayed in trouble didn't you?" Hermes asked, a bit proudly.

Percy nodded.

**As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey—"**

**"I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."**

**That wasn't the right thing to say.**

"_No,"_ Thalia said, "because disrespecting scary old ladies is always the answer!"

**"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.**

**"Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her."**

Ares raised his eyebrows, "I may just have some respect for that satyr."

**I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death.**

**She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.**

**"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.**

**"But—"**

**"You—will—stay—here."**

**Grover looked at me desperately.**

**"It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."**

Annabeth shook her head, "Grover really should have said something to Chiron."

**"Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "Now."**

**Nancy Bobofit smirked.**

Jason grumbled under his breath about brats, and Piper smiled at him, she grabbed his hand and said, "Don't worry Jason, Percy seems to stand up to her pretty well himself."

**I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare. Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there.**

"PLEASE KILL HER LATER!" Ares shouted suddenly, startling everyone there.

**She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.**

**How'd she get there so fast?**

"You know, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth said, "that's a pretty good question."

**I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.**

"Probably a monster," Artemis murmured thoughtfully.

**I wasn't so sure.**

**I went after Mrs. Dodds.**

**Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel.**

"He could have casually walked over," Annabeth reasoned.

"Annie," Thalia said, "You know as well as I do that Grover is a terrible liar."

**I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.**

**Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop. But apparently that wasn't the plan. I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.**

**Except for us, the gallery was empty.**

"Apparently Percy needs to watch more horror movies," Hades observed.

**Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.**

"How did that not send out alarm bells?" Demeter asked Percy

**Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it...**

"Yet another bell," Hephaestus muttered

**"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.**

**I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."**

"Good, Percy," Hermes said, "when you're in trouble always act polite with the person, they might not give you a punishment."

**She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"**

**The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.**

**She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.**

"Sure," Piper said, "sure she won't, Percy."

**I said, "I'll—I'll try harder, ma'am." Thunder shook the building.**

"You're good at this," Hermes observed. He looked at Poseidon, "You must be proud."

**"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."**

**I didn't know what she was talking about.**

**All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. **

Hermes nodded approvingly again, and Apollo was smirking.

**Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. **

"Are you sure that we didn't get our children mixed up?" Hermes asked Poseidon.

**Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.**

Athena looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "You know that _Tom Sawyer_ is a classic and a great book?"

Percy shrugged, "I really don't read much."

"Daughter," Athena asked exasperatedly, "why on earth did you chose him?"

Annabeth smiled, "He may be a Seaweed Brain, but he's _my_ Seaweed Brain."

**"Well?" she demanded.**

**"Ma'am, I don't..."**

**"Your time is up," she hissed.**

**Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.**

Everyone shot a look at Hades. "Hades," Poseidon yelled, "what is a fury doing at Percy's school, and why is she trying to kill him?"

"How, am I supposed to know?" Hades demanded, "We're from 2002, Percy is still a small kid! Why would I know what the fury was doing at a school? He must have done something wrong!"

**Then things got even stranger.**

**Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.**

**"What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.**

**Mrs. Dodds lunged at me.**

**With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword—Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day. Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.**

"Wimp," Ares muttered. He received a glare from Aphrodite, Poseidon, Annabeth, Percy, and all the other demigods.

"We'll see if you can say that by the end of the book," Thalia said as she remembered Annabeth telling her about the fight that Percy had with Ares on his first quest.

**My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.**

"Dropping the sword would have been a bad thing," Athena muttered.

**She snarled, "Die, honey!"**

**And she flew straight at me.**

**Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.**

"Good to know that's your natural reaction," Nico muttered, "remind me never to scare you again." He shuddered as he remembered the attack that Percy did on him when he was trapped in the underworld by his father.

**The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss!**

**Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.**

Everyone shuddered at the thought… other than Dionysus, of course, who was passed out in his throne.

**I was alone.**

**There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.**

**Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.**

**My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or some-thing.**

"Seriously, dude," Leo snorted, "magic mushrooms?"

Jason looked at Percy with a sympathetic look, "You know, I can see how that would shake someone up."

**Had I imagined the whole thing?**

"No," Hera said looking at Percy, her eyebrow raised, "never doubt yourself, demigod."

**I went back outside.**

**It had started to rain.**

**Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."**

"Who?" everyone other than Percy asked

**I said, "Who?"**

"NO, WE THINK LIKE PERCY," Thalia and Nico screamed.

Percy pouted.

Everyone else burst out laughing.

**"Our teacher. Duh!"**

"I thought it was only the fury and Chiron," Nico said.

"It was," Percy assured him.

**I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.**

**She just rolled her eyes and turned away.**

"Such a pleasant person to be around," Dionysus muttered, startling everyone again. "Yours, Ares?"

He shook his head frantically, "I sure as Hades hope not."

"Hey," Hades said angrily, "I'm right here!"

**I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.**

**He said, "Who?"**

"Okay," Hermes said, "Maybe Grover can make up for what he did earlier right here."

**But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.**

Hermes face palmed, "Never mind…."

**"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."**

**Thunder boomed overhead.**

"What has your panties in a twist, dad," Apollo asked Zeus.

Zeus just glared at his son, before turning away.

**I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.**

**I went over to him.**

**He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."**

**I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.**

**"Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"**

**He stared at me blankly. "Who?"**

**"The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."**

**He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"**

"That's the end," Athena said. "Who wants to read next?"

Thalia raised her hand, "I will."

"One question before we all start," Aphrodite said practically jumping up and down.

"Yeah," Piper said, looking at her mother with a disturbed expression.

"How long have you two been together? You're just so cute!" Her voice got really shrill and she was pointing at Piper and Jason. Leo howled with laughter, Annabeth and Thalia looked at them with pity, and Percy was just a curious as Nico and the rest of the gods.

Jason and Piper immediately blushed and scooted away from each other. "Mom!" Piper squeaked, "we're not going out!"

Aphrodite blinked, "Nonsense! I can feel the affection emanating from both of you."

Leo whistled at the redness of their faces, "Things just got awkward."

**Hi, I'm Kayla! Well, you probably already knew that, I thought that I would say that I had to put the JASPER moment in there… oh and I always put JASPER in capital letters… they are just that awesome to me! So if you are anti-JASPER, I am sorry… though if you're reading this then you wouldn't be considering the author's name.**

**Anyway feel free to voice who you would like to hear more of, did I do a good job, was there too much or too little dialogue, do you want to hear from the gods more. I know that there are some that I used very little of.**

**Normally it will go between me and Goddess of JASPER each chapter, the only reason that I wrote this one was because she was very busy!**

_**Goddess of JASPER here! As Kayla said, I was very busy so I'm sorry that I did not write this chapter. You did get more of Kayla's awesomeness!1**_

**I'm sorry for the long A/N! Don't forget to review! **

_**Ciao!**_

**Sayonara!**


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